Navigating the world of job postings is no easy task. But, together, we can get you through it. By helping you parse through these buzzwords, you’ll know what to really expect from these employers. 

“Looking for someone who can manage different personalities.” This means there are some people in the office that will act completely bananas. And you’re definitely going to have to deal with it. 

“Looking for a self-starter.” Unless you are applying for the position of sourdough, this has hidden meaning. It means you’re not going to receive any direction, but you better believe we can still get mad at the way you do things.  

“Team player.” There are a lot of slackers on the team and you’re gonna need to save the day. Often.  

“Need someone who is highly personable.” We value a kiss ass. Same with “people person,” the strangest phrase in our language. If you’re going to be shy, you can just plop your quiet butt right on the unemployment line, mouse.  

“Flexible to the demands of the business.” Buckle up; it’s gonna be triage. 

“Growth opportunities.” People are in and out of here like an ant hill, so it’s only a matter of time before we need to promote you.  

“Fast-paced work environment.” We’re short staffed. Very short staffed. Please help fortheloveofgod. 

“Looking for people who are passionate about what they do.” I smell low pay. 

“Excellent time management skills required.” We budgeted you six hours a week to get this done. Type like the wind, baby. 

With this handy reference guide at your disposal, you’ll be able to cut through the buzzword fog and know exactly what to expect. You can decipher the lingo and find the right job for you. 

Good luck! I hope to see you at the water cooler soon.